On the east side of the block of South B between 9th and 10th there sit a row of same plan duplexes, each consisting of two 2/1 of approximately 1K sq ft per unit, arranged on long, thin lots around 7500 sq ft. This weekend I went along with my friend Sam to inspect two properties with nearly identical layouts which she was considering for rent. What we discovered were such stellar examples of the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde of landlords the whole episode felt like a parody.
Both landlords have properties
purchased long ago. Both landlords have properties which have been sitting
empty for many months due to the slower rental market post-Covid. Both landlords
had units with similar layouts on the same block. Here the similarities end.
At the first unit we were met by
a sweet little old lady who had been chatting amenably with the tenant in the
back unit. The unit she was showing was freshly painted, inside and out. The
carpets were clean and recently vacuumed. The bathroom and kitchen were
updated. There was an adorable back patio with the perfect orange tree (you have
to pay extra for that). She explained how, in order to make the place more
appealing, they had moved a few fences to enlarge the space. They had owned it
for 40 years, she said, and you can tell she felt real affection towards the
property.
The front yard, she explained,
was in the process of being redesigned. She had tried for years to maintain a
nice lawn, but she was ceding the war to the neighbor’s gophers. She would not,
she insisted, make it plain stone. Her aesthetic ambitions were higher minded
than a cheap stunt like that.
Finally, in a gesture which made
me want to sell my house and move in myself, she apologized for the state of
the windows, which did not appear dirty to me. Whoever moved in, the landlord
promised, could set up a cleaning to suit their schedule. She would pick up the
tab. For all this, she was asking $3150 a month.
Our next appointment was a few
units south. The expectation was that this place would be cheaper, for a
reason. It was purchased in 2000 by another landlord who has rented to friends for
years. I understand that getting lower rent often requires compromise, but this
guy, who I’ll call Bill, is beyond, in my opinion. Codes are broken. Service
providers are sketchy. Fix times are extended. I mean, the man didn’t even pave
their driveway after cars kept getting stuck in the mud. He bought a dump truck
of gravel, which they had to spread out themselves. In San Mateo! Solidly into
the 21st century!
Anyhow, I was prepared for this
unit to be down market from the one we had come from. Bill did not disappoint.
As an indifferent young man (not Bill) opened the place for us to look around,
I was instantly transported to the most beat up rural properties I have had the
opportunity to inspect in person. The condition was deplorable.
The floors wood floors were scuffed.
A tile was missing off the tub, which reminded me of what you might find in a
cut rate hostel. Dark scum was apparent on the tile floors. The kitchen
appeared to be original, and none of the cupboards closed all the way. The backyard
was a tangle of weeds, and contained a rusted old shed, a barbeque covered in
spiderwebs, and a large, broken screen. All this was going for $2700 and one
month free with a year lease.
In the end, it is unlikely Sam will take either. Her timeline for moving out of her current place is
flexible, as is the part of the Bay where she settles. A friend gave her the
number of a property manager in SF, and insisted they were offering better deals
than in San Mateo. For once, it is renters who have options, and they plan to
exercise them.
*Please note, despite the ridiculous
discrepancy in condition Redfin predicts their sale price to be within 1.5% of
each other. Such is the power of stale data…
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